It has been a while since I posted and I have been in a never ending reading slump but I was talking to a friend and they suggested making this post. It’s a bit different to my usual content.

On the 1st September, I had my first ever tattoo. I had always wanted a tattoo, though never enough to commit to the idea and permanence of having one. I have loved a specific design for many years, inspired by a cover of Moby Dick on my leg. Similarly from teens to today some ideas have come and gone like angel wings, Roman sleeves and even Attack on Titan designs.

In April I lost my cousin to suicide and sin then and now many people have had tributes to him, my father has had a torso tattoo, and others have had J’s and semi-colons in memory of him, apparently a semi-colon is a symbol for suicide prevention and mental health. I decided I would have one too and not only in tribute to my cousin, but to have a piece of him with me always. He wasn’t just a cousin to me, but an older brother – along side his brother, growing up they were the siblings I never had. You always assume your contemporaries will always be with you, but sometimes life decides its not meant to be. Always expected we would be together laying our parents to rest, not our parents laying him to rest. A great man taken decades too soon. A wound that will never heal.

I booked my tattoo back in June and the earliest available date was 1st September, which was meant to be because that was my cousin’s 41st birthday. So on that day I had it done and I am very happy with it.

The design is his fingerprints in the shape of a heart with four birds flying from it, one for each decade of his life. As of now it is my first and only tattoo, and I would have been happy without having one but for a first tattoo it is one I will never regret. I do wish I could have my cousin back instead of it. But that will never be.

RIP James, I will love you forever, and live with you in mind. Life is short and live for today, tomorrow is not guaranteed.